There are no Mud Huts in Rome

“It is better to be 1st in a Mud Hut than 2nd in Rome.”- Julius Caesar

If backstabby social climbers have taught me anything, it’s that Caesar is right.

There is definite wisdom in being Numero Uno in your own Mud Hut.

But only if it’s an &Beyond Mud Hut.

The fourth Honeymoon stop was the &Beyond Crater Lodge. The Crater Lodge consists of thirty thatched roof, luxury mud huts that dot the Crater Rim, with what on a clear day, provide stunning panoramas of The Ngorongoro Crater.

Bourdain stopped at the Crater Lodge on his Tanzanian trip noting that even the toilets have great views.

The Ngorongoro Crater is a Caldera, which is a large cauldron-like hollow that forms after volcanic eruption. Before imploding, it was Africa’s highest peak.

I was named ‘Ngorongoro’ by the Masai. The Masai are a pastoral, nomadic herding population and ‘Ngorongoro’ is the noise cowbells make.

Ngorongoro teems with predators. It boasts the highest concentration of Lion, Leopard and Hyena in the wild. Prey migrate into the crater and have a hard time getting out because the gradient of the Crater Wall is too steep.

Due small size of Ngorongoro, the Hyena/Lion relationship inverts.

Hyena’s, normally scavengers, become predators. And Lions, normally predators, become scavengers.

We witnessed this inversion on our descent to the Crater floor. A Hyena killed a Wildebeest, then a pride of Lions scavenged the kill.

The Lions devoured the Wildebeest within hours.

After about the 50th safari jeep parked along the road to watch the drama unfold, I couldn’t help but think about Bourdain.

People traveling magnificent distances, spending absurd sums, just to watch him eat.

Once the Lions were sated, a Mexican standoff between Hyena, Vulture and Jackal ensued.

The carcass was picked clean within minutes, leaving only a pile of horns, excrement filled intestines and bones. Awed by natures brutal efficiency, Lolo and I returned to camp.

Wikipedia tells me that Ngorongoro’s Lion population dwindles. Too much inbreeding, making them susceptible to disease.

Before bed, I noticed fire raging on the Crater floor. Concerned, I asked the hotel staff about it. Apparently, Park Rangers burn off inedible underbrush to prevent a larger fire from happening.

I tossed and turned in bed trying to fall asleep.

Inbred lions? Strong winds? Thatched roof? Fire two miles away?

Insomnia was setting in. After about an hour of this, I realized I had forgotten my training. I cut my teeth in Lake County. I am no stranger to fires or inbreeding.

I slept soundly.

Despite knowing they are operating at ten percent capacity and the ‘Half Off Honeymoon Special’, I felt great shame we got to experience The Crater Lodge.

It is called “Where the Masai meets Versailles.” for a reason.

The experience was humbling. I understand why billionaires like Paul Tudor Jones and Howard Buffet have invested so much into Tanzania. It’s desperately magical.

The food, the views and the service were incredible. I have to credit &Beyond’s leadership, Joss Kent.

Kent came to &Beyond after his family business Abercrombie & Kent sold to private equity, causing a highly publicized ‘Et Tu Brute’ rift with his father.

Kent’s leaving one mud hut for another, as it were, helped me appreciate my own father’s lessons about private equity and the masters we serve.

Moral of the story?

Find your own Mud Hut.

Rule it with impunity.