Year of the Rat

Larry: “What kind of dog is that?”
Paul: “A Yorkie.”
Larry: “Yorkie?”
Paul: “Yorkshire Terrier. They were bred to kill rats in World War One.”
Larry: “Bred to kill rats?”
Paul: “Yup.”
Larry: “Then why are you still alive?”

World’s Largest Rodent and a Capybara

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If Mickey and Minnie have taught me anything, it’s that there is a profound difference between mouse and rat.

A billion-dollar difference.

No. 10 Downing Street, has a Chief Mouser.

No Chief Ratter.

Little Bunny Fufu, despite the food safety violation, bops field mice, not field rats.

Banksy draws rats, not mice.

Why?

Rats are harder to kill.

“Even if you win the rat race you are still a rat.” -Jackie Gleason.

The Thai restaurant on Lower Sac and Turner has these Chinese Zodiac Calendars for placemats.

Is there Chinese collusion with my Thai Food?

Perhaps.

But the Chicken Satay is better than anything I’ve ever tasted in Thailand.

Eating satay last month, I learned 2016 was the Year of the Monkey.
Consult a Doctor Why you should see your purchase cheap cialis doctor? It is important to consult your doctor, because erectile dysfunction (ED) is considered a potential indicator of a heart condition. This simply means that if you want to levitra professional online avoid the chances of having your sex drive suppressed, you should limit your intake of milk and other dairy foods to only two or three servings a day. These few tips will surely help you erect and enjoy lovemaking session at least once a week, keep up the erection to have satisfying prescription for cialis sex. A Peace Circle where everyone gets together to process the problem is a method of conflict resolution where rather than punishing the perpetrator, he participates in the resolution and is asked for suggestions on how to fix things. purchase cheap cialis
Which means Chinese knew Trump would beat Hillary the whole time!

How? Why?

Because it’s impossible to take your eyes off an animal that screams like a banshee while throwing fecal matter everywhere. An animal whose sexual conquests are on full display behind bulletproof glass.

Monkeys are equally entertaining.

2020 is Year of the Rat.

Which means Trumps reelection is certain. Our swamp is too toxic to drain. And the people who navigate the sewage of our political process best are rats.

Ask anyone in The Grove of Walnuts. Sewage dilemma? Call River Rats. Don’t trust yelp reviews.

River Rats manage excrement better than anyone.

“Anyone can rat, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat” – Churchill.

If you’re young and not a liberal you have no heart. If you’re old and not a conservative you have no brain.  I love that quote because America is one of the few places where heart and brain are mutually exclusive. My heart says Tulsi. My brain says Donald. My instincts say neither.

America is the disease. Trump is just a symptom.

Tulsi is not shameless enough to defeat The Donald.

To win the millennial vote, Tulsi would have to get a tattoo of the Hawaiian Islands across her forehead or accidentally release a tape… alà Kim Kardashian. 

The only way for the Dems to win an election would be a tag team ballot of Dwayne Johnson and Michelle Obama:

“The Rock- Obama!”

That’s a ticket!

Near as I can tell, that won’t happen until 2024.

So will The Donald Keep America Great?

Only time and the S&P 500 will answer that question.

I can’t ignore the ignorant racist rhetoric that got him elected.

I am set to marry into a Hispanic Family, and despite my racial handicap, have identified as Mexican long before I understood the concept of ethnicity.

Perhaps, Family and Identity are the exact reasons, I should vote Trump.

Who can hate a guy that keeps Eric Trump around despite that blue blood, incest smile of his? There soviet collusion in that paternity test, Ivana? Quien sabe.

Despite all of my issues with the Donald, I will probably vote Trump.

Not because it’s in my best interests- which it is- but for the same reason The Donald ran for President in the first place:

Boredom.